I helped God come back to Earth, He likes me, a Friend I can trust now.

Pre tearing asteroids. 11/12/16 7:49 am. Read this piece on free writing, need to use it for the book after baptized. Good read. Needs editing

 

Thanks, Yukiko and the kids where here, it just wrecks me for anything I am doing constructive or destructive, when I see Yukiko.  I know her heart for me changed I felt it in Jail, when she left with Ryan to West Port.  When I told Ryan that my wife is my wife, I married her for a reason she is my queen we were lost I was lost, and know you can’t fuck her.  He kissed her french kiss, she told that to Ryan when Yukiko went to his  house thinking that something was going to happen, and she came home,  I second time I saw her, after Jail, the first time, she came home with the kids,she was with Chizu’s avoiding me, I was deeply ruined, and still manic and not fully understanding the cirumstances in this hell I started by throwing a huge bolder in my calm mud puddle on August 6th. I was working the first time to see my kids and wife, and cleared the house had it safe, no renters I fucking locked the door and didn’t want no one, Chris was living in his truck, I told Yukiko that I screwed up with Wrath based on a typo of what I was doing on paper to fix my mental illness the chaos, I had 7000 instead of 0000 for Casey Knowles who’s voice was strongly fucking with me and confusing me, not Casey Knowles, but anyway, my theory is I make this book publish it or whatever, and their are energies of all our selves floating around,  and whatever something I heard  it and felt it, and I was angry, I had no control, manic mode the maximum.  I remmember seeing Sara and talked to her how much I missed  her and Liam and it was hard for me to be normal without them, and explained more, she started crying in tears with emotions of understanding and loving her father, and knowing that I am not a thug piece of shit like this family thinks I am ever since I dropped out of the UW.  And Liam, didn’t care , he was on his computer, I told the kids there will be no more renters Chris is on the street. And Yukiko was washing dishes, in the kitchen making food for the kids in the house I bought her at 23 years old with a fucking job making $65K with NO COLLEGE DEGREE, MERIT and smart, and all the work and all the love and all the pain of this whole fucking thing, I try to give her a hug, and she runs.  Well, she wanted to fuck Ryan ever since some fucking family member invited him to WP.  The long drive, the feeling and the kiss I felt that and knew shit was happening behind my back in Jail I recall feelings of Ryan’s mom Donna and Elki discussing that Ryan and Yukiko would be perfect match in jail, like my radar was running, and this actually was discussed and Ryan told me the truth about this fucking shit while I in Jail for blowing up, I had enough of life at that time I made a mistake, I am not dangerous not at all with the kids or my wife, I have never hurt Yukiko, I just blew the fuck up, Crazy or Mad.  But, she ran. out of the house with not making the food, grabbed the kids,  and she I didn’t know why she hated me for breaking the car, she totaled the other Subaru, and I found out why.  This emotions that people have and judge and tangle and all that shit, behind my back my wife, it with people with no faith no believe of god, emotions are like communist like and Donna and Elki who thought Ryan might be a great dad for the kids and Yukiko, that love or emotion transferred to my wife a bond, for that long Trip to talk about me behind my back discussing what I was doing.  No body visited me, I was almost shot dead, I was not dangerous, I was confused trying to control a demon a entity inside me like in 2007 when Grammpa died and I felt his presents and I am  weak, see, I let people use me in reality and subconsious whatever, it’s like feeling a person jump into your body, this after life of shit family who looked me as week and i had love and respect for all these fucking people, but not them to me, so I was out of whack, went to Jail.  I wasn’t even mad in 2007 March around Martin O Packard died,  but I know what the strange can’t prove to science and physiological thing happened, Grammpa didn’t like me, he came over to this house one time and heard about me smoking crack in front of my kids, from Scott who defamed my name while I was in the hospital suffering from this stroke, and he wanted to see how fucked up I was from what he heard from the Knowles in 2004 and he hung out at the house, I was unable to talk had that fucking Gus dog the house was a mess, and I was just visiting Grampa who showed up out of the blue to see how of a peice of shit I was, and he judged me, and when died, he knew he would not be going to his son, Next of Kin, as he got castrated, he knew being a fuckhead Mason, it’s his grandchild, me, and he took me over.  He could’t go to Liam, for I believe DNA match blood line was not similar plus he didn’t care about my mixed kids so he did rage on me . At the time, I was making on a book, a project to quit drinking and smoking, and be healthy and show my loving family how I deserve love and respect, that I wasted my whole life to get and that was important for me. Being I bought a house at 23, had 24 a son 25 a daughter, so what I had a cocaine habbit, I was making a shit load of money, I had the time to burn it since Yukiko didn’t bother to fix  her status so we can travel and be husband and wife and family , take a trip to Mexico or Canada or anywhere,she shutdown.  I worked my ass off for nothing basically 17 years of wasted love to her and she was going hitch Jasson to before I took her, as she got almost rapped in Japan and reason for her leaving to America.  In Japan, men have the power, not like the when that were cocks here in America, but I was an anchor husband.  I spent and wasted love with her I learned.  But Anyway, Casey Knowles and the spirits of shit the souls and shit they get to see what I do, and see and for life and energy to transfer, I figure, there must have blown an entire planet of all of us, and we are on a backup a copy.  I’ve seen the reality break when I was fucking playing with God, and his future Humans that have big eyes and are green, the HUMAN GMOs.  And really God was replaced, shit was fucked up and still is but, I knew I wasn’t crazy, I was being used because I am kind and didn’t bother to stop and block the power that came to me.  Plus, every four generations, the Y chromosome of the Packard’s , turns into some Genius like great Grammpa Charles Edward Packard, Martin Oaks Packard hated his Grammpa now I hate mine but I respect him.  Anyway, I was born with special abilities more than most people have, and the voice are not wishful thinking.  I was typing  my language back, trying to hurry up and talk and be ready for work and not lose my house in 2004, I stressed  out, and whatever I did in writing and forcing myself typing and  studding, I opened up a different mechanism of communication, in Valley General when I was working on a Journal keeping track of the whole thing when I wanted death by Cocaine, not that I was an addict I wanted to die and overdose lost the car, and all that shit, Yukiko wanted to divorce me, not giving a shit about the clinical depression I was on, like I was given the wrong medication repspirdone that is an antiphycotic that killed the gift I have and Carmamezpine that slowed my brain down to the normal firing,I didn’t know that the pills were doing that, I learned that after I quit and tested with Meth all of my drugs, and each one and it’s effect and learned that I was disabled from them and the doctors didn’t check or care, just gave me pills that I didn’t need.  Even after I was false witness phone call from Swedish hospital nurse who I fouind out mis uderstood me when I was complaining on the phone that my brother was smoking crack in the house which he was, after I was not and  trying to have a better life and learn from mistakes, called 911 and are the ones who gave me bad drugs, and swatteam assuming I was streatning my fucking family with my 12 guage shot gun that Scott didn’t want me to have who told them that I was.  I was waiting for breakfast and on the table with Sara, when the Cops called and told Yukiko to get out with the DAughter, I was taken out guns taken away, no arrest, but they fucked something up inside my brain, and made me into the person that did that Wrath on August 6th, and out of control.  No body helped listened or cares or gave a fuck in this family.  They treated me like I was not family and a thug drug addicted shit fuck.  I called Expeditors tried to get Bruce Reynolds on the phone, and they didn’t understand me, I was tearing and unable to talk well, they called 911 thinking I was dieing and needed an ambulance having a stroke or something, at NIghops, so I was on the front porch, just trying to figure out what the fuck did I do.  Scott left just before the cops arrived quickly, I assumed for years he had something to do with it, but he kind of did, he didn’t give shit about me, he never paid  rent, threatened to call my insurance for the fraudulent Civic into a crackhouse deal, so anyway, I was at that Harbor View needed to pee, and Yukiko picked me up late at night, they never let me pee, i cried so loud for peeing, I could talk and say I need to piss, i pissed all over myself , I’m with my pissed on pajama and I can’t sleep the whole night on the chair in front of my computer, typing, waiting I called dad, he hung up on me , mom said something the CPS is going to take your kids, no love, Yukiko just doing what her mom said to do, and show no emotions and be strong.  I needed help,  Bruce was not around  Expeditors called that 911 I was on  my front porch, just staring at the Grass, a police car roles past , parks, and a porky police office with his Gun in his hand tells me to freeze on my own property, and i did nothing.  Yukiko is in the house, not caring about me, I was like trying to say something but couldn’t complete, that gun at me for doing nothing, he put hand cuffs on me so tight, it hurt my wrists, and asked Yukiko something she didn’t say or protect me and say, leave my husband alone, he is fine, she just said nothing, and told her that they are sending an  Ambulance, they put me to the stretcher and back to Harbor View for doing nothing.  I tried for years for this family to support me and get some justice or something to call, so much but I spent a week after trying to run out of the hospital after a King County mental health cunt determined  I need 72 hours in the hospital for evaluation because I was unable to talk, I fucking had that stroke Yukiko didn’t protect or say he is fine or anything just let her say ok, and I spent a week at Harbor View with crazy people like I tried to call Yukiko and this person who suffers that illness of wanting to have sex, she was on my lap jacking me off and stuff in this place, naked women running around I didn’t need this shit.  So I wrote whatever I could with my just relearning how to write again Language for the experience.  But see, these pills they gave me they just kept me on them, no check to see if there was reaction or something, increased the dosage of Respridone, and anyway, I didn’t need that shit from Swedish who I seek for I thought I was bleeding and losing more brains with another stroke from the stress I had with that fucking Scott in April, but instead of an MRI or CAT, they determined my brain has to much activity more than most normal people, fuck I was born a genius.  So those pills fucked me up  society fucked me up but I didn’t know that at the time I was easy going guy, So fair fax and then Valley General . and the day before I took off from treatment which I didn’t  need.  They put me on Rispirdone and labelled me bipolor 1, I was on 2100 mg of Lithium, Respirdone and took Seraquel all this shit I didn’t  need my brain was fighting all this shit I was taking to be normal to heal.  But I believed had a mental illness and didn’t have the ability to research and  read all about the drugs, I just took  what they gave me.  They determined i was manic hence the false witness phone call for the Swat team that I didn’t deserve and hospitalized and then when life was so low and no body for support nothing no love really I needed from my wife, she ignored the emotions the needed love and caring or common since that something was wrong, just made sure those fucking pills where given to me as the Doctors know the best, they have college degrees, they no what best for patients, and I was in clinically depressed state for a drug that was affecting the synapse of firing in my head, slowing it down, to retard state, like I bumped the car many times , I was unable to get in the sun, and get on the latter, or catch a ball my son threw at me, or think fast like I use to, and respridone was taking the gift of the extra capabilities of using the frontal lobe and emotions of full anger and love the feelings that you probably forgot about for your own anger.  Tears for joy and all that shit, you told me years ago you are being numbed by these pills of emotions Trina, but those emotions from Anti phycotic drugs stop from happening are breaking the rules of God, for I believe in God now, made a book and silenced my mind  and pray and meditate and I feel emotions not being blocked by the pills that I now refuse to fucking take and I will put myself in jail and deny this shit now, for the book is complete, but Bipolor I is I was hospitalized for depression so that label was put on me when in fact, I not bipolor that drug carbamezepine made me bipolor the years I took it later, but when I left Valley General as I was forcing myself to write, I was playing volley Ball, and I stopped what I was doing, for I heard a voice the first time a voice hit me, I was stunned and walked away from the game and just tried to hear it again I forgot what the voice said, but it was a deep voice, a mans voice and strong.  I thought I was losing my mind.
Yukiko picked me up at that hospital ,  gave me a hug and kiss for over two months I didn’t get that and decided not to Divorce me, but I was not worried about that divorce, I knew she had no were to go, and I was healed a bit, with the treatment, and all and  was 12 step running and for three months I did AA and went home and started writing a book based off of my journal and then I didn’t here a voice other than my own repeating  what I was saying with all the hard  work it was to be working on the language, I was still not as good speaker fluent as I was in 2005 April.  But  I did attend DVR Division of Vocational Rehabilitation.  They did an extensive IQ and neurological test on me that I never saw the paper work they mailed it to me, Yukiko in  2007 was hiding all my  mail and the year she bought 5 coach bags and all kind of goddies and didn’t pay the mortgage for 9 months and I had  2 weeks to come up with $15,000 or I lose my house and all the equity.  But that’s a different story, no body gave a shit about the  stress that caused me, Yukiko said that it’s fare karma reason that my crack habit caused her stress.  But, anyway, DVR told me after I applied for financial aid and got a grant, for full time SSCC, that I might not be able to handle the classes for the deficits in my brain that they found and suggested to find a job in the computer IT tech world that will hire me with a disability, I said no to that, which I should have after I read the neurology report that Yukiko hid from me.  I didn’t know this but I was so fucked up, I was reading at a 3rd grade level, I was way below on 100 on all language and math skills I was about 98 on the IQ. I use to be 140 IQ in highschool.  I was very disabled but I didn’t believe it, I went to school and I worked harder, I had to read things over and over and tried my best, and the stress from Jasson BAker  and his shit head family and the stress of school, and on 6/6/2006 I went to Harbor View.  I can’t recall what happened, I think the neighbors called because I was loud talking to myself in my own back yard.  Any way that you can’t do in your own property I found out later on in Seattle.  You can’t voice and talk your mind to your own mind, which I liked to do to clear my mind.  And exercise my speech, and that drunk.  So  I went to Harbor View for three weeks, they gave me another pills but i was on respirdone, lithium but no Carbamezpine.  See, when my brain was so fucked up it didn’t matter, becaues I was not on the retard pill that wrecked my life with family and kids.  I was able to multitask and get things moving even with a 3rd grade level reading ability and the deficit as I worked hard. but I had to make up all my classes and at Harbor View, I was looney for I didn’t want to be there, I wanted to finish my classes and the only thing I did wrong was drink and talk out load, I figured it was the neighbors who didn’t like me pruning my trees.  Yukiko didn’t call 911 and of course she didn’t protect me from being put in the hospital, I was somewhat hearing and feeling emotions but couldn’t here them or understand, I finished classes and quit drinking so much, and took a break, I hand friends and family telling me I am lazy, I pay for your social security, I really wanted a job, but I ended up losing my long term disability working at SSCC doing a the simple computer lab technician job , I was not even able to return to Expeditors they terminated me, and Long Term Disability should have kept paying, but Yukiko hid the mail and I never got the response to the letter in time to refute it.  The DVR report I found in 2007 however see that could have been faxed into MUTUAL OF OMAHA Long term disability and all the $2500  a month with SSI combine would have been fine, but Yukiko hid the mail not sure why from me, and We lost it and the SSA  check was like $1500 and we are going below on the bills.  Owe well, fuck it, I was more into getting a degree and a job, for I was lazy  and wanted that respect and love from this fucking family so much I felt worthless. I mean the only drugs I was using was Beer and Weed sometimes and had cigarettes not meth or crack, and I was drugs that were killing me.  Respirdone was growing tits on me, I didn’t know, but in 2007 I tried in school again, and Grammpa died and I was feeling strange, and this family loves me.  Grammpa was in control for a bit, talking to me in my own mind, it was  the first time I heard a strong voice similar to Grammpa, I couldn’t say this to  anyone but anyway, we partied and I wrote some shit on my Baby Step Bible, the begging was a program to detoxify doing my own Aa group,  Addicted Anymouse, but it turned into a crazy buck writing down all the strange unexplained voices and thoughts from 2007 to 2008.  I went to jail after Grammpa had me just drive the hell out of the Subaru and steal beer or pay with foreing currency and I was in jail for the first time.  I went nuts in jail, I threw myself against the wall after I was naked and shitting in my hand writing symbols on the wall.  I remember different a dream but like being abducted and in space and aliens ,and being taken apart, my body parts removed and put back together, a huge ball of radioactive like waste put inside a cell and being in space for eternity freezing, and  coming back to Earth and all kind of the most amazing trip, seeing and  hearing mom die and being in a wake at the house, Someone gives my dad a gun to kill scott, thoughts of just epeisodes of life, the feeling of an underwater shelter with people that were souls of energy and then different energies , I saw and felt a corporation doing nanobyties and torture of pain of DNA like research, I remember being into a group of people at a table telling them about the future of thermal nuclear war with another world, like ours.  A robot that was like me but lonely that held souls of creation, I felt he was run off a radiactive battery like a Heart Pump, a Plutonium Battery and he was scarring me for he was causing my eyes to see the spots of radiation and I felt sick, and then I die or go to another body and I wake up at Harbor View. the most fucked up physios, it felt so real. I then goto WSPH in March to April of 2007, and they change meds overdose me on shit I didn’t need, the staff knocked me out because I was walking at 4 AM in the morning and could not sleep.  I wanted out and this time I couldn’t finish my classes.  I get out, and 2007 I ended up really fucked up, and I wrote all crazy shit on my crazy book, that is part of the DOORS OPERATING SYSTEM.  But, I get out and Jasson BAker is moved out, the house was empty no renters, I loved it.  I wanted to put a room for the kids to play, but then Yukiko get’s Medico as a roommate, it’s like I think Halloween, and I went nuts a few times in the house, I saw things and felt things and heard things like voices of Scott, being on a planet, a Dr Packard that lost his wife, and is from the future but, didn’t know why he was in my body, because Yukiko and him and the kids took off to Japan and then he was in my body, I didn’t know then a Marine of me, and then a so many voices and they all died in flash. And then I looked outside and I was hearing voices that were calm and screaming, and then blank nothing, and the Sun I was staring at was talking to me, like every time I spoke there was a flash and a empty of my soul I thought a feeling, I spoke a cuss the feeling of loss kept having, and I was feeling sick and I thought mabye this voice was like Alien and they are nuking me off the planet, and the speed of after life is so quick, like the voices who were telling me who and where and why they were here, goes.  So I assumed there was a backup planet, and the Aliens are trying to take a key my dna to scan me to prevent me from enjoying life.  I remember in the house, testing my cigarettes and tasting them, from one room to the next, I would go the basement stairs, air lock and try to hear the voices.  I was thinking this is how Haunted homes are and I am not crazy, I am testing things to understand the feeling of loss and paranoia and all sorts of feelings, I tuned into this testing all over the house until I got mad and figured out I was being killed repeated for all the Chucks that were killed, they cut his dick off in front of his wife, assulted his kids, it was this Google Corporation Black man or face who worked there, but he raped Yukiko and killed the kids, I heard the stories and the pain, and I got more mad about this and found this loss was the aliens connected like scripts like magic where they nuke an area a place a whole something, and somehow they rebuild and make another earth,  I called it iteration planets because for all this crap this shit, it must be in the future past or present but I heard and talked to so many death and confused.  But I was curious about a Dr Packard that died at 61 years old crossing the Pacific with Yukiko, see ,they were together and the kids were living a life and then I get a flash and loss felling and I lose the soul the energy.  I thought this is fucked up and I thew a mirror against the window, a mircle the window didn’t break, but I freaked  Mardiko so much she moved out. and at the time I think we had Elki Turner who couldn’t get custody of her son because I was mentally unstable. A report that was filed by CPS, and I was going interesting.  So I called CPS and requested that report about me, and sure enough on 5/6/2004 a Nurse from the Doctors office at Swedish Medical reported that I was smoking crack and I Don’t care, that is what she though I said on the fucking phone, and reported that to CPS, so not only did Swedish Medical Center during my stroke keep me for about 9 hours in the ER before they were going to put me into the MENTAL WARD area, for panic attack and ER doctor who yelled at me and said names like junky and didn’t allow my dad or rest of my family to see me, just had Yukiko in the will chair, they did an MRI AND CAT scan later, after those scans, I was being moved on Feb 19th, 2004 to were they keep the crazy people, until they found out I was bleeding from a stroke. I was unable to speak, confused, and had imbalance, and  I  suffered more damage because of incompetence and a doctor that needs to treat patients like humans regardless of any illicit drug they find in blood that was misc and not enough to even get high or cause the CVA,
I Was then put in ICU put a IV on me and dialed the number to home, the only number I remember and Yukiko answers, and I had a hard time saying stroke.  She didn’t care at all no tears nor nothing, like no big deal like I don’t care.  I was trapped at the time in my life, in hell.  But going to the point Elki who was living in our house, who by the way, I did my 2nd 3 week stay at Harbor View, breaking something I forgot, but Medico was gone, and Elki and Heath moved in Elki during the time I was doing another trip at Harbor View for I don’ know what, I think praying to god and praying like a Muslim, I was testing all faiths for dealing with this not knowing what to think  testing and hearing whoever was in the control of the Sun it was fake, it was strange the Sun was not real it didn’t feel reel it moved weird, and the stars were different, the air tasted funny, and then I would take a nap and it would be normal again, and I felt like the difference of things, like I was on the Couch under the Deck and seeing the Sun rise, and it felt warm, and then it felt like nothing and it was different sizes, and then I thought my body was switched to an  Android this is all when I was at home, and my mind was being destroyed I felt, I tried to do Japanese and forgot, my vocabulary I was trying to improve my self was fucked, I felt so shitty like my soul and spirit were dead and I was a zombie like I felt depressed.  I went to touch  my penis, and it was gone, and  I freaked out I went upstairs to the bathroom and flash  happened and I felt more life and I just could take it anymore, this was god, aliens , google fucks in the future something playing and I guess this all works because of the atomic bomb the vaperizing and making another planet switching souls to your clone or DNA match I figured, because I didn’t want to test it by killing myself, I figured I was trying to kill myself because of losing my job and everything at I was in hell.  I kept track voices and feeling of shit that you have to feel to be there to understand.  I didn’t have a Geiger counter but enough was enough.  I went to bed, and just couldnt take it anymore ,I  was in bed and I got chilled to hard like I was in a icecap, and I closed my eyes and I was in a castle in a view but I was in my bed room, like I was feeling cold but the property of where my house was was cold, a strange event, I started closing my eyes faster and trying to see if there is dimensions tangling my body somehow that I can’t see, I felt like tube were connected to me, and it hurt a bit walking from the basement to the upstairs, I was trying to see what the hell is going on, I slept that night and I remember being in a like bird, looking at the Seattle, ice all over nobody, but a castle where my house was and a body enclosed in a chamber not sure alive or dead but me about 40 years old.  And the planet was an iceage, and I went what the hell this the future, I wake up  and back to my life again, but this time it’s November 28th, 2007 and I feel pain all over my body, like I thought this must be it, load of souls radioactive, the taste of bitter like metallic in my mouth, and my hands were getting a smell that was strange, I thought maybe God is making me be a place for burning souls or something, I heard screaming and see I didn’t bother talking to anyone I was tired of talking to nonsense, I didn’t believe anything but it hurt and see I was taking so many pills I was unable to feel the tears being shed from pain I guess, and the pills prevented me from hearing so good, I just suffered my bones were aching and making noise like the Bone Marrow was  being affected, I looked  like shit in the mirror I wanted  to see if Harbor View had a Geiger Counter, and covered my hand that was vibrating with plastic, and just risked it for checking to see if I can get checked out because I was getting hot and weak and puking like, the symptoms of Chernobyl first firemen who died from radiation poison cleaning up the mess.    I knew that Harbor View was going to not give a shit but I didn’t want to die before I turned 31.  I asked Yukiko  if she could  smell my hand that was emitting a strong strange smell and shes smelled it but didn’t care, and I said, I think a planet got nuked or something  and I drove to Harbor View.
I walked to the ER  and asked them if they had a Geiger counter for I think I got poisoned with my and wrapped with plastic.  The Security guard that looked like he was just a zombie robot not a real person with no intelligence what soever told me to sit down and someone will be with me.  Well I was there for about 20 minutes, and I wanted to smoke or leave and go back home and just screw it, my body will change like has been when I fall asleep.  I mean I could not recognize myself in the mirror from one day to the next to see the changes, it was weird, and Yukiko yelled at me for doing something I didn’t do, maybe another of me did it,  and she was evil and no caring and love, it was such a nightmare living like this.  No body could ever believe a word I said, but I knew something fucking fucked up was happening and I figured false gods took over God, and God stayed the fuck away from earth because there were so many of them and just said fuck it like I made in my art for earth.  I thought the future just took over all who had ships that go faster than the speed of light and have the ability to manufacture a universe in a dimension and copy and paste like you can with a computer a whole solar system, atom by atom from huge powerful technology or we were in virtual reality like computer and this is all hell . I didn’t know but,  I didn’t care, I wanted away from my house of hell.  And I wake up at WSHP I forgot how I got there, the smell of strange burnt possibly radioactive shit, was over, I felt better not puking and was again in the hospital.   I just went to my bed and slept, and never woke up.
I cute lady who works there brought me out for a Smoke break talked to me, and then gave me a bunch of candy, I think she thought I was cute, I had my long hair and smiled at a person that said Happy Birthday, and gave me whatever love I needed to have that smile.  I should have asked for her phone, but back to bed and I just slept didn’t do shit, but think and I thought about how to fix this for God if god gave up to battle the false gods the ones that were like programmers having fun with tools that god uses to work on all this amazing stuff that I figured there was something wrong.
I got back home, and I didn’t say  a word about my theories, I drew a battle plan in Baby Steps book, God,country Family.  and figured three planets, and I walked in the house and started thinking of how our earth rotates around the sun  and I figured I ask the real god to help  and I made a circle of planets, I stopped and I tried to go out side and back and forth, but not sure if I did anything but then I labeled the planets Doctors, Gamers, and Marines.  and felt a little good but not sure if that did anything, but I figured if God is real and if he needs a person that can see through things and feel things, from emotions and the ability to talk to souls and know loss and gain and all that, I figured I fixed the problem.  And closed the book. I go downstairs enjoy  a beer after I get 3,000 from the Discovery card to cover a bill that Yukiko hid and failed to pay for the Electricity.  I start drinking heavily to get to normal land of being in present.  Not crazy world, and this Elki lady is in the basement and we are talking about sex and stupid shit, I run out of beer and she says I will drive, get more beer more talk and I didn’t mention about shit, I figured I am not crazy, but crazy is thinking that this all is  real, so I was talking and my computer lab WAR ROOM was in the basement and was doing something that felt good, releasing anger by tearing emotions from a youtube video and it was about the IRAQ war heroes some song that made tears come out of my eyes, and I did that to relax, not sure why the tears where coming out, but it felt good to release, I was on new drugs no voices or energy spirits, aliens whatever it was, it was over but the feelings where needed to be bled, and I can do it better with a beer.  I felt good, and then a knock on the door, it’s ELki who has a present for me.
I am all done milking my tears for release of pain I believe of the souls who were on my body being cleaned or feeling, something that Jesus was doing or setup not sure no body told me what anything was about any faith, I just figured it out because God created Emotions, and it must have something to do with it, not just science but faith, but at that time I just did things for reason that it felt right, but I get to the door, and she this Elki witch asked me to close my eyes, and she kisses me frenchlhy weird I jump  out of my chair and then whack, I am hit in the head by a MAG RED FLASHLIGHT, since I am drunk and not feeling that much in pain for the meds I take and slowness she hits me about 3 more times, opening up my brain, learned she fractured this scull of a brain which has already gone to hell, at the Jail, and  at WSHP on the flooor by evil workers, and from a stroke.  I can’t afford to lose any more brains I need to have them to raise my kids and do good, I protected myself finally and the Flash light fell on the ground, and then this Evil bitch Elki Turner, I don’t care she can sue me I’d like to have this in court, for damages that I want for this cunts actions for no reason at all, I slam the door she called 911 and says help help, I  am being raped, and she follows me in the house , blood is gushing out of my head, and I didn’t care about anything except to get that leather jacket full of $3000 in cash before this cunt might take it, and she is hitting me, and I immediately go upstairs and tell Yukiko what just happened, and she yells at me I am bleeding all over the place my eyes are getting blood on them, I can’t take this wife she is on Elkis side , when I was at Harbor View, Iost my smoke privileges for yelling at Yukiko for allowing ELki Turner to my daughters bedroom to rent, without my permission .   She never really ever paid rent at all squatted in my daughters room that we setup for her, my old office a big thing was working on being a family man in a crazy world helping God. but Yukiko left and I was unable to smoke for this fucking Nurse  I hope he get’s what he deserves, for listening to our conversation, well this Cunt she left in my house did this, I decided to wipe blood all over the walls, I knew I was drunk and mental court I was suppose to not Drink beer for 90 days I just got out of the hospital trying to fix all of Yukiko’s fuck ups, this is after the house went in forclosure her parnents bialed us out as not family gave a fuck about me, to borrow $15,000 and pay it back at 6% no care no help nothing not ever every through this nightmare of a stroke, not even respect or love from the Packards to the Bemoroses to the Knowles, the Loves I don’t know that much about them  but they might have helped me out with at least their last name, but I dealt with that forclosure and then went just gave up in life, 3 weeks later, I have to come up with $2300 for get the Subaru from repo, we almost lost the car that I bought Yukiko for $25,000 new  and she didn’t listen to a word I said, she really put me nuts, but all these friends and family of us, told me I am an asshole it don’t treat my wife right and don’t deserve her and know wonder why she left me, and all this, well this is the story of the truth.  I loved my wife for her mistakes and I just knew she wasn’t fully grownup like all of us, keep on but these critical mistake sucked, any  way I had to leave the house the cops were coming and I couldn’t afford to be back in Harbor View, I was trying to get my Line of Credit open for Yukiko didn’t pay a small bill and it closed and so much mess, I couldn’t afford to locked up, so I ran to Troys  he advised me to drive to the hospital but I hate hospitals they treated me poorly all of them, and I needed to leave King County ,I drove to my aunts house in Port Orchards Kit-sap county, she was not exepecting me I didn’t have her phone I just knocked on her door and she didn’t care about the blood all gushing out of me, she got really pissed off about emails I sent from a computer at Harbor View for the past 3 weeks where my wife again didn’t let the police know I didn’t need to be in the hospital , just some fucking thing why I was there, a neighbor the Burien Bark people called 911 on me for I was like reading outload the Dictionary and amazingly was talking to myself outload which is against the law in Seattle, you have to have drugs to prevent you from experiencing being a man with a brain, you can’t do anything like that on your own property, but Yukiko and the kids went to the neigbors because I was being loud, and Yukiko didn’t want to deal with the truth about her hiding the fucking mail which we had a fight almost so, she can hid my mail  ruien my credit and am not suppose to have balls or dick in Seattle, but just be a unick fuck this city, anyway I did 3 weeks and I hated it, and  I sent many emails , but I am bleeding on her and shes isworried about what I said in an email about her kids , and shit I didn’t give a  fuck I needed a family member a person that is a human being and not a witch from hell, to give me a ride to the nearest hospital to check my skull.  She told me to take a bath and then took a picture of the blood a lot of it, and after I didn’t get her to take me to the hospital I just drove fast and to my dads, I tried to get burger at McDonalds but they wouldn’t serve me for some reason,  I was hungry  and I didn’t know where the hospital was, I just know I couldnt be at Harbor View, I got lost and went to the Fairy Terminal they called the police thinking I was in a car accident drunk or something , I dashed that place and finally got on track and in Poulsbo I drove to his parking lot, and  I was drinking a beer because of the pain and my dad comes up, and slams the beer off my hand huriting my fingers and says, 
“Get the fuck off my property” Wow my own dad, I just asked him if he can drive me to the nearest hospital.  HE said fuck off, and so I was no family again and I for some reason for until now when I grew up here wanted  this love and respect for being a Husband and father that raised is kids good, and this struggle and I loved  for some reason my dad, but I ended up saying fuck it, Maybe Bangor Navel Base they have a hospital.  Well, I was driving good not speeding, but those ferry terminal people called the 911 reporting me, I know it for being a bloody mess, so a State Patrol Officer Parker  I think I remember her name, she pulls me over and then the local cops come in and they find my cash  they were going to steal it but this nice lady State Patrol officer takes it before they steal it, my money to pay the electric bill and for Christmas to happen, well I knew I was fucked they wanted a blood sample and I said I am CIA and can’t allow you to take a sample being a smart ass and Breathalyzer I didn’t want to do it, so  I lost my license for a year a did jail time after getting a CAT scan to see if I was bleeding internally, which  thank god I wasn’t I was born with a lot brains and working mind  and smart that cunt Elki after this skull fracture I was unable to do multiplication tables, and some things, I wanted to have her killed for damage to a mind that did so much.  I took her to  court but she didn’t show up and it was to much in the pain the ass to get justice, the detectives talked to me in Seattle, for she didn’t get a good  report the cops came to my house I guess and told my wife that the cops might just blow everyone away after they were Elki and Yukiko cleaning up my blood for the evidence of my damage, I heard.
That sucked.  But after that last bummer of shit I watched Breaking Bad, at Highline hospital recovery center for IOP session that cost me $1400 for six months, and I hated that fucking shit, I bought beer and took it wiht me to IOP and for spite I drank it going home and didn’t care the society revoked my licence I aint taking a fucking bus, and I ended up watching the new show Breaking BAd.   And got into that for a bad, and this is in 2008.  I had no spells of crazy voices and mania and talk and high spirits,  I was pist off to give a shit about anything accept, I gave up really and just quit smoking weed and just drank.  I just watched TV  and never really thing happened at all. I enrolled back to school changed my Major to psychology and went all the way to 2010 until I felt to much stress and something snapped ,were I couldn’t sleep with the stress load of renters they were less mature then kids but were drunks and just losers, I had a liberal who put down republicans and all the stupid values I was brain washed into beliving at the time, Marry, she pissed me off by letting this ass hole over who I barred from my house for disrespecting me, and they had with Chris a band that played shitty music and it sucked, and they paid rent I was getting around $850 a month and a Rafeal another loser that bit the hand that helped, he rented and was ok but kind of stupid but I had  three people taking more money in but then I had to quit school for just stress, I was back on the CArbamezpine and my brain with limtrigin and haloperdical not well enough to do Japanese 123 and pre calculus  I failed my expectations I got a 2.1 for first test and it took the whole day for me to do the home work I was to slow my brain was not like it use to be, I had  my math skills in better shape it was that blow in the head by Elki Turner , she ruined the skill I was working on the recover from the stroke, and the Detectives in Seattle who I told the truth just asked me about my Shemale Car and why I labeled my Subaru as that and I tried to explain the sick humor about a car that is no female or male but both sexes for ,and they didn’t get it, but liked my online journal and didn’t care to help me recover damages for wrong doing, so I never got my justice for that too.
I was in stress and depressed and didn’t want to do school anymore I didn’t want to fail and have a 3.5 GPA or less because if I was going to transfer for the UW I would need grants or scholarships, I just was taxed at home with this group of renters, I was saving money and it was toll on my life.   I had upstairs with the kids and I decided for out of the blue to become Roman Catholic and start the RCIA a program to be a better husband and father and the kids went with me to, I studied an became the years of more family dinners and love and feelings ever felt with the family, but I had the anger. Like after doing Mass this ass hole Lutheran fuck drunk basement asshole who lives in my house not paying rent because I can’t kick him out i tried today now 1/1/15 in my hell, but he told me why are you wearing Faggy Cloths in front of my kids while we were done with mass, and every time I came back home on Sunday mass, I got mad, and I wanted to get rid of the renting and be a one family home but Yukiko didn’t work and SSA was not covering it all, I  was not on drugs but I wanted to save and money is lifeblood, so I dealt with the sacrifice with assholes.  Easter Virgil 2011 occurs  I we get confirmed  and baptized, I thought i was going to feel something fresh,  but I still had this cold feeling of not worth anything not doing something right ,I did the whole thing and I didn’t feel God or Jesus, but I felt nothing no spirits no voices the strange shit that happened to me in 2006 and 2007  I was dead, was it my massive amount of pills. I know I didn’t cry at all when My mother died and did a wake in 2008 at my house, I felt like I had no emotions, the drugs I believe were making me into a numb person with no emotions I didn’t feel certain emotions like I did in the past with lithium, but I was back on the drugs that are suppose to make me better but they were not, I was like a lobotomy, I just watched TV got a flat screen and life changed, I helped this ass hole who I would love to box, Nathan Leon KRebs, in 2012 during the Summer for a place to stay I had issue with my Nepthew was a troubled kid I failed to get working for a favor for a domestic violence dispute with his mom and the landlord kicked his son out of their apartment,  I took a reasonability to take care of him until he turned 18, she got Christine $590 for child support and she only gave us $300 to take care of her 17 year old drop out drug addicted kid, I was pissed but was stuck in the deal so I was losing money each month for the whole rental ability for a room ,but then Shit happened he was found with heroin kit in my house and the renters or one Rafeal wanted him out or he is calling CPS stress took hit on me, this fucking ass hole wish I can have a chance on this guy because I kicked my nephew out on his feet for fear of CPS and whatever this fuck head could say, the renters were taking the toll on my stress.  And then I felt bad  for the kid,but then Chris lost is job, and Nathan was renting under south end  of hte house, it was full of people, and I had to deal with complicated shit heads Chris had no rent at all coming in and just was in his room not paying rent  not doing shit, and put him oiut in a tent and moved I guess Rafel  also lost his job, and even though he stressed me out on the Nephew thing I let him hang on the couch, see I helped him being from homeless after his wife and him split and really what happens later, this Nathan Leon KRebs takes two rooms for $650, I was suppose to have south side of the room  and put a contract lease He payed all i was ok.
Then I get my friend Jasson Baker over and he tells me, wow you are renting to this guy who hurt your dog.   I  said what, yea Rafel said about him body slamming the dog, and I noticed the bruise on the Zacky our poodle, and put it together after several beers and Jasson  said, yea you don’t want this guy in your house do you with your kids.   And he had me think wow, let’s see.  So I went to the basement , we had  a Gargesale going on to that Nate was complaining about and I didn’t here is complains at all, but he got kicked out of his last place and was worried about drama, I wanted drama away, but I confronted this small man about the dog he got offensive and threatened to call the police.  This guy switched like to Satan like that, and I was being easy and like I am being nice to people and  treating them with respect never yelling at anyone, just I didn’t know and said, Ok, and walked out of my basement where he was sharing that and renting to rooms, well he kicked me out by his foot which I wish I can go back in time, and break is neck and arms and feet and put him in the hospital and me in jail.  But, I was kind I for three weeks he was calling 911 on any word I said upstairs walking on the upstairs to hard , he turned our break box off during the time my kids where eating,  I called 911 for that, and the police did nothing, they said you must evict him so I researched the law about evicting and he wanted his money  he paid for rent , and I wrote the check back and turned off the password for him for internet so he bounced the power off and I felt stupid for having this turd control me so I stopped payment and he got mad and it was nightmare, he sprayed my son in the morning before he was going to school, he tor apart my security system messed up the rooms spitting on the walls, he put the hot water on for two days straight so nobody can have hot water , he almost burnt my house down my running the dryer over night, my son put pants on and his buckle burnt his skin, I wanted to kill but I confronted him once and the police where called and a lie was reported to the cops, and it took it all out of me, holding my anger.  And letting him ruin my house, and take over, and he called my wife Dirty and why  don’t you go back to your boyfriend Jasson,  and said I hope you have a good flight back to Japan threatening her us that my wife status is still not set, I wanted to hurt him so bad, and the listening to the hot water and oven and he had grow lights that he plugged into and turned on everything to burn electricity as I said don’t worry about the juice bill when I gave partial money back for the time he was in the house for the month being not ripping myself off but fair and he took so much from me, I wanted to just die as the police were called  ,he would find out when I drank and call them saying I threatened him with a knife the cops where so pissed off,so finally the day kids where away, I setup a camera on a tripod and took my cell phone and recorded his harassment he was doing to us,  was recording on another camera, I got him beating me up with my own cell phone and running with it that had all the pictures of my kids and family for month and evidence, I called 911 and they arrested him, put retraining order on him for two years, and it was over, but it wasn’t the police came her to watch him pack,  he put kiddy litter in the toilet and fucked up shit with the cops here, a daring piece of shit.  But after that in September, I changed,  I ended up starting a habit that got me into more hell but  I was so shook up on this renter I didn’t want renter at all or I didn’t know anything I was numb, not anger not anything but I wanted to kill myself and I asked for Crack cocaine from person who was on the Ron Paul caucusing for him as I was a PCO-34-1251 and this fellow connected me to a Ron Paul fan that smoked something out of a bubble pipe and I was low in my self esteem worth, and I hit this pipe and it was the first time I smoked meth on November 24th, 2012.
I felt strange, I felt amazing good, but with the pills I was on, the effect really whacked  me out, body was doing strange things and the paranoia of having a narcotic and using it filled the void of the drug loathing so I just spent hours watching pornographic materials and didn’t really get a good high for what it did.  I played on this drug for over two years, monthly, the by weekly and  off and on and the battle but it was an addiction every time I was drinking and got to drunk and I wanted to normalize and get up, finally I had this Thug like guy who I was hanging out with strange drug culture world of people that lived collecting garbage basically from dumpers and Goodwill Value village into the dumpster finding shit and trading shit like in the movie MAD MAX beyond the Thunder Doom border town, they were free in the mind.  I ended up smoking the meth learning how to hold the high and not freak out, and then I quit taking my medication after my doctor told me to  quit taking haloperidcal and take serqueal instead or something, I thought my pills here affecting my soul and living the person I was numb and dumb not able to handle a punk renter.  So, I after a thug renter who I put in the house to push Chris to move out, to make it miserable and have a connection of this new drug that made my brain think like it use to when I worked Expeditors before my stroke  the sharpness the ability to actually read and comprehend what I am reading and a lot more, I figured out that the pills were making me disabled , I was able after doing meth, for three days while it was in my system ,feel better in life, I didn’t want to get high, I wanted  to have the ability to read like i use to before my stroke and to go back to work, and live life,  I found the problem I had since i quit taking my bipolar pills and all of that shit, and I just was living happy writing, I was more attentive with my children, I wasn’t like when I was on the pills and doing meth, I was tweaked out totally knew I was paranoid and nervous my heart rate was fucking high, but with no pills the hear rate dropped, I quit drinking coffee, and then I noticed how calm I was, and now I could eat and function and the only thing that happened bad was I stayed at my computer ABLE in my room enjoying my life watching the cameras I put out in my home, typing and working.  I didn’t want to do anything because I felt bad for playing video games, watching TV doing leisure things,
I felt that work makes living sweet, my sister who is  so much smarter than me with a fine arts degree, makes websites LIke I use to do for business before I lost my client after they called 911 for some stupid shit about my argument I had with my wife who hid my mail ,fucked up my credit, put the house in foreclosure, lost so much money for not being able to refy for years, then lost the Subaru and it repoed, and after all stuff that my wife did , and I just drank and tried to solve on paper my mental illness God crazy talk  the Subaru she totaled it, all that in one year 2007.
So She leaves me after I keep her and love her and forgive her, after  I find on memorial day see in 2007 I told my dad on memorial day weekend, have a stroke it’s good for you while he was telling me about how I dwell and need to go forward and arguments,  Well my dad had ass hole renters shit happened his ex girlfriend wants out of relationship failed one, and want my dad to move out of the house and put it on the market, same with the Aunt who sold it to them and my dad doesn’t want to move, and asked me if you would be interested in buying Joyce off his girlfriend and I didn’t think about it, I was at his house March, 2014 and was taking a break from the drug and testing to see if i can stop using meth which I did for awhile at his home, comfort it was an escape away from my house visiting my dad.  We loved to smoke pot that I always brought and talk and chat like good relationship and I didn’t want to tell him what I found about this street drug, that is similar to Adderal  a drug for ADHD and how I learned I am not bipolor I  I am ADHD and have been probably for my whole life but I was a genius in school and payed attention, but he didn’t want to know anything like this strong street drug and it’s chemistry and drugs, I know a lot and it’s effect.  I was taking blood pressure and testing it all, and I quit drinking coffee.
We hung out at his house and he told me how he has to get a renter because she quit paying her half of the mortgage and was wondering about if I can help.  I didn’t want to spend my nest egg on his property at first and I felt bad for dad, he was in kind of mania mode but we hung out drank a few beers talked and bonded and that was the last time we bonded on his property his trail his land and home he loved, he ended up having his Girl friends son move in because he felt bad she was paying for the mortgage not living there and he was hoping for the favor Joyce’s son would help with the house.  My dad was in a loss he trusted people like I did to, but I hated all trust in people ever since Nate, in fact the thug I put in the house to bug Chris in 2013 shot story but this kid got to high on meth, tweaked out and  thought his brother and me were touching his girls daughter child molesting and even though he had a warrent he calls the police and says shit all high the police come to my house and the same officer that arrested Nate talked to Joe this thug, I let in my house to test to see resespect vs the Nate people and to annoy and get rid of Chris which only Chris got punched in the head once by Joey the Police talked to Joey and everything and was going to take him to the hospital for they new he was loaded, but CPS called me later about this childmolesting accusation and Joye’s girls son took off the girls pants and I never new what happened but I will never have kids in my house other than my own for freaked out shit heads like Joey,  But I didn’t want to let my dad  know I had this thug in my house for an experiment, and then my brother Scott referred me to this guy with one eye James, and he was in my house $400 and he wanted to remove Chris out,  and I made a  mistake not keeping him I think but I had to get rid of him to for he went crazy worse than me. 
But I am talking to my dad about all this shit and I told him Rent two bedrooms upstairs for $800, $400 a piece and share the area, don’t let them take the half.  I 
So, I get home April and he calls me about the renter and he says I think I made a mistake complaining about trucks and cars and tons of shit they moved into his place that was all nice and neat and cleaned up yard like his parents who lived in Magnolia were, he spent hours tiding up his property mowing and enjoyed that chore.  I hate all the yard work, I use to like it when I had pride and care for my house of hell but I can tell he was not doing so well. 
My  sister came to visit me for some reason and I was  doing my study of meth off and on three days, blood pressure guage all the drugs I use pot, nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol, and I was taking Carbamezpine and limtrigin but not Halo because the doctor told me it was causing a side effect, so I kept records of my intake of all drugs, smokes  drinks tokens and  hits of meth, and was trying to show Angela Heald my doctor for years who doesn’t listen to me, she thinks when I am depressed I am doing good and when I am happy and well, that I am on edge and, when I am on coffee, that i am on meth, and so far I haven’t been able to piss clean for IOP because the meth is stopping the depression from  starting, and I figured out that I can probably not use meth for the rest of my life, but I want to read write have the ability to be a tool and not disabled on shit drugs.  Well my sister didn’t understand or give me the credit that I deserve for my research I did from learning how this drug affects me.  She told me ok , and I told that very smart woman to not tell dad I am experimenting with this drug to find  out the similarity of a drug Adderall and to see if I can be normal functioning for the other pills where disabling me like I quit taking Carbamezpine and I felt much better, not sick and I could stand up and not fear the latter going on the roof, I can catch a ball my son throws at me and not get hit in the eye or teeth like ruined the baseball practices that I missed for the years, I am sharper and not slower like I was when I worked at Expeditors, I am able to multitask I told her all these things, and how I quit all of the emotion numbing drugs because dad told me he was stopping meds and my doctor pulled the pills so I am doing a test to see if I am disabled , bipolar I or ADHD .  This is my life and I take pills that have made my breast bigger than my wife in the past, I don’t trust doctors drugs and I have been smoking meth on and off for two years and My teeth are fine, my skin is fine ,I  eat and sleep and have normal sleep.  it’s a drug and all drugs are all bad or all good that change the mood for this illegal shit vs legal that destroys boys bodies , mine made me in a shemale. This is something about it I found Trina, a change of my mood for being happy. I am able to be more attentive with my kids unlike the numbing drugs I was on, I am more able to comprehend what I read. I think this is because my Wernicke’s section of my brain that was affected that is the part that does the reading, and writing, and listening , and talking is slower than the rest of my brain, and carbamezpine was slowing all of my brain, now I am normal birth rate speed the speed I was born with, with that 220 V jolt of juice mom gave me while she was taking the turkey out before I was born the doctors have fucked my life up.  And then she said, rolling her eyes like i am a stupid drug addicted dumb person because I believe in faith and god and theories of the past when I heard voices and things that can’t be scientifically proven, she thinks to me as simple because that is what people think of those who believe in Jesus and God, and have faith and anyway, she never really gave a shit about me, was jealous a competition for nothing , I don’t know why but I told her that Dad might have a stroke if you  tell him this he’s shook up with these meth head renters taking over his house, I was on the phone with him they over heard him talking on the phone, and complaining ,he called me back later and I heard sniffling like he was crying like in anger.  So, Don’t please don’t tell him that I am doing meth experimentally, see look  Trina my  data I am going to share to my doctor , quit  and try to see if she can prescribe me the proper medication for the illness that I have.  Anyone can be depressed and then manic, but I am just a bit manic and I sleep and I wake up not depressed or really tired and Coffee, I quit and feel much better, no more manic it works.
And she didn’t care all the words were worthless that I said to her.  Well Easter happens and our Washer breaks and my dads’ renters had one and I asked him to ask how much they want for a Washer, and he calls me and says $300 so  OK, well let him know I want a washer,   Well my dad never told him that I wanted the washer and they owed him $300 in rent, so he just took the washer to our house , I didn’t like the story  I knew he fucked up by not confronting the renters, because see he would have had to trade and deal with people and he was not able to handle people like me and those low lives I am able to handle, and we ate Easter Dinner at the house. James was here, and Yukiko made a good spread, the washer was installed all was well, and then the next day the washer broke.  I called dad, he didn’t want to talk to the roommates for details for warranty and gave a call to the Wiseman’s appliances, and I guess he was thinking this would save us somehow for our neighbors at  the house my dad and mom bought together it turned out to be the brother of the husband neighbor.  Those guys didn’t like me when I was kid, they only let Trina into there house I was just not welcome, so I didn’t care he came over and the Appliance guy ripped to hard on the hoses and it broke the PVC pipe and water was gushing out and I had to shut off the water to the whole house.
I was a bit pissed off and anyway the job cost $98 for one small sock inside the pump that I could have probably troubleshooter and fixed. He said he wasn’t a plumber and took off, fucking a rip off. I was nice to the guy like I was kind of like that for people that work for a living unlike I do, I just write and study roughly I am not sure if that’s work a writer because I haven’t been paid yet, but anyway it’s a lot of work to write, but I put myself down so much by this family and  friends for this self-worth I let people use me unlike I use to do when I was king of the world working for a Corporation. Well I had to fix the problem and Chris who never paid me shit for rent just a loser in the basement, I couldn’t get Joey to get him out of my house and  I tried to kick him out, but he is squatter, well I asked the guy to look at this primer stuff and see if it’s all right.  So he grabs this canister that I just opened up  and shakes it not checking that it’s not sealed  and the primer purple crap goes all over his and, my new washer and on the laminate floor.
This is hell I told Chris you are fucking pathetic stupid and shit fuck, help me get this off the floor before it ruined everything.  Liam and baseball practice in 10 minutes and I asked him to go to the store after researching the cleanup shit and told him to buy this stuff now and handed him $20 and he complained that his hand is burning, and I said I no time to get this stuff you fucking made the mistake be a man and do what I say,  he’s saying insurance in the house can cover his medical bill,  and  I wanted to beat the shit out of him right then and there, fuck you, and took off and to Liam and stopped at Home Depot, they had  stupid employees there that couldn’t find the stuff I got it racing looking for the PVC cleaner I get it and it’s Seattle so you have to pay $.05 cents to do this anti bag law so I didn’t get what I was hoping for which was plastic bag to hold this stuff incase it leaks all over truck because a container I picked  was leaking all over the floor, so not trusting plastic is illegal in Seattle.
I run all the way to the Baseball field, the container of PVC CLEANER fell on Liam and leaked a bit on his skin, foci had Seattle I said chemicals need proper bags, how the fuck people live in this fucking city of shit heads liberals.  I hate Seattle I said, and dropped Liam Off and  rushed to the job that Chris fucked up.  I yelled at him to help clean the mess, and I was trying my hardest to remove the pink primer crap out of the Washer it sucked.  I was not working, Yukiko heard me she came down to help out while Chris who fucked up now ruined floor the tile started melting, he could have cleaned it up while I took Liam, I wanted him out of my house his existence was fowl I wanted to kill this man, for being a loser.  Anyhow Yukiko does a good job cleaning up I finally get the houses connected to the new fixed PVC water line and start the washer.
Well, I called dad to tell him about this all and he is shooed up not caring to much on his mind, but then he tells me well smoking meth will raise your blood pressure, do possible strokes and damage your body.  It’s really bad Charlie playing with drugs like this, and then I had to tell him about the drugs that I am on a class action lawsuit for getting bigger tits then my wife and tried to explain my life of hell of dealing with pills  and emotions and the side effects of them and how I am off of them all.  And I didn’t get his approval that what I am doing is safe or not, he just didn’t care and I knew my sister has not morals or values, she hasn’t even paid a loan I gave her for paying rent and gave me no respect for anything that I deserve.  It pissed me off that family I have with no respect I didn’t want my dad to worry about me.
Anyway, few weeks go buy I stopped the meth and was helping friends, and I get a phone call on memorial day a Monday from my dad, and he is hiccupping on the phone and struggling to tell me that he had a stroke.  And was on the way to the hospital.  I dropped what  I was doing and headed home, and contacted the hospital talked to the doctors in Charge.  They didn’t call me back but I said I am next of Kin my dads olden child, and I am very concerned. I found it was a brand of the brocca section a three way branch kind of stroke on the Right brain and he was on his floor for two days in his own waste and these new renters let him almost die, I was furious.  I contacted Andy my aunt who I haven’t talked to forever, and she was not answering but Yukiko said, that Anddee Already knows that he had a stroke,  and in fact I find out that Andy called the hospital and put her self as next of kin  so  nobody contacted me at Herrson and then at ST Josephs and she did the same thing like wow, and she lives in Hawaii, and called Yukiko  instead of me, the son the only person that talks and loves his dad.  I found out that the renters that harassed my dad called the police on Easter night, and they also contacted Joyce  who contacted that Aunt I never want to ever see in my entire life, she is evil and not a human being, an animal.  She probably got a phone call from my sister to do judgment quick for I was dangerous or something else was afloat it was weird the treatment I got. I contacted Kirk the brother, and I said slowly, Hey Peter had a stroke and is at ST Josephs I wanted to let you know.  Well, he was going on the phone to me, what, I can’t understand what you are saying, like ruddly like making fun of me, like he wasn’t caring that he already knew by Andy, and I told him again and the said ruddly and fakery I can’t understand your not making any since, so I walked the phone put it on speaker to Yukiko  and  I am telling Kirk please this is suck you fucking with me during a family emergency, fuck you.  But he was informed and I know now that the family all was told bye Scott and or Trina that I was just fucked in the head worthless not worthy to have love and respect and dignity shamed and all this shit they view me as for the secret I wanted to keep from dad and I told Trina it would break his heart for he doesn’t understand the importance to finally fix a problem that destroyed years of life, with Adderall I could live a happier more productive life, for the diagnostic for bipolar was reading this paper, anyone who has common since I was unjustly put into the medical system with False Witness calls, and would never have been diagnosed with mania if it wasn’t for this evil Nurse to assume I was danger on guns, my guns  were put away, I don’t play with guns I was learned at an early age to treat guns.  I was safe but this fucking city did it, and this is the reason why God don’t give a shit about Seattle for I helped him sort fake and strange shit built with no faith or care worse than anything Satan can do.
And After this day each day I tried to help my dad, get his keys his belonging I was turned down, and I talked just one time to Aunt who let me bleed to death not to giving a shit other than an email I sent irately.   I say, Dad is doing well , those renter called the police on him and harassed him he could have died, the probably called 911 after it’s felony for not doing it. She didn’t care, she said, You are not going to Joyce’s house, that’s her house.  Really Andree, this is my dad’s house she surrendered paying the mortgage, there are things in that house that belong to the Packard’s files on kids and wife and me, and my dad wants things, are you telling me I can’t help my own father.  Later on she got Joyce and her son Tony to do the job that Peter’s son was denied any help to his father, it was fucking sick.  I did nothing and  was nice.  I then went to see my dad at Josephs, I brought the laptop and showed off things I was proud I was doing and taking his mind off this troubles, I recorded him.  And then Kirk shows up and just says wow, you must be fucking higher than shit on facebook you threatened the roommates and Joyce and all crazy shit on face book.  I told what I felt for Andy and Joyce are into this idea already I can tell to have dad not back to his own home, by not allowing me access. I know those renters from Joyce’s Son friends were into a plan to make Pete’s stay in that house miserable, harassment and your brother could have died,  I see the bullshit and I am paranoid.   
Andy is friends with Joyce and to better sell the house its better to be empty but this is my Dad’s house and he didn’t want to, I want my dad back in his home ,and those renters kicked out, I have eviction papers.  I know how to deal with renters.  Kirk looked at me with no respect that I am a high on meth and not that I am pissed off and uncontrollable hate towards family things where strange.  I was changing inside, I hit the meth in the morning but I was just drinking coffee to stay off and be sober, but coffee was making me twitch and doing a side effect since I quit drinking coffee for this chemical imbalance stopping all medication.  I left the building and just got so mad, went to the store and bought beer and drove back and downed one and came back to my dad’s room and it was to hard to handle this family with no respect love or care, its made me feel sick to know that the only person I loved of anyone was my dad, and he was brain dead and off , and I asked for next of kin, it was switched to Andee, a social worker how my family where first in noticed that something was wrong and commented how power of attorney and next of kin is your job your the oldest son this saddens me of what your family is doing.  And they learned the bullshit , but I didn’t bother to go I had to leave back home for I didn’t want to see anyone in this family.
I was taking off and Kirk my uncle asked lets’ get something to eat.  and I ate Kirk paid, and he told me that he heard I am meth and all this shit. It’s been so long since I seen Kirk and I tired to explain the reason for I was miss diagnosed with bipolar I and I am ADHD and a street drug is very similar to medicine Adderall that solves serious issues in my head that now I feel much better .  The pills have been disabling me for over 10 years and  I found that by checking my blood  pressure and stats and all the drugs I used, I am feeling better, I can read and comprehend much better and  Who knows math I might be able to finish pre call , and all this stuff, I was unable to catch a simple base ball thrown by my son, I got hit in the tooth or eye, and couldn’t be in the sun with these drugs, I was fucking disabled.   I want Adderall and I will be never on the use of meth, I did  a of studding and I know more of my brain any fucking doctor.  HE didn’t care and told me his story of some loser that changed into a monster doing meth and fucked off and then  he said you stop that or do treatment, your idea of doing business you might be able to start and get enough clients and finally work yourself off of Social Security.  He said it like I am a loser for collecting this disability check, putting me down like he did at Tony
‘w wedding in front of Case Knowles  , showing off my kids, talking about like fucking pets and how well behaved they are.  I am a better father than anyone on this planet because I know faith, and can relate and listen and inspire my kids.  They are good because I raised them properly with unconditional love and not like a pet or a cow.  
I felt somewhat a feeling of hate and sorrow and something strange in my mind during the conversation and how for the past 10 years of dealing with this stroke and trying to do the best thing I felt the end, and found this poison pointed me out of hell, that is a life with no emotions and not able to hear and feel god.  
I drove home and waves of emotions hit me like being shot at by thousands of guns with so much tears, I was unable to concentrate driving home, my eyes where blurry and I just wanted to hit him and be with my wife.  
Peter was moved to Mount St Vincent’s where I can watch him and drive closer then Tacoma , on the FAce book Trina was commenting on my posts and saying you should cut  down on meth  and then I told her off about minding her own business and then Mike Silvers a old friend who watched me be raised, started bulling and making fun of everything I wrote and it was tag tame putting down me to no reason, no comments on maybe treatment might be a good think Charlie this stroke your father has as affected you, as I was not on meth.  I was drinking coffee and my brain was changing, and I was ferrous of what the Sister of mine, I respected  and helped her out about $300 for rent and told her we need to get those renter out, Joyce I know want contacted by the female renter, who contacted  Anddee who contacted Yukiko instead of me, and Dad was the fist person he called was me, for next of kin the duties his oldest son, that I was born to take care of him and I have been denied and disrespected and you said this shit on Facebook and defamation has wrecked and much emotional damage I tried meth, I am not on it, since dad had his stroke.  You labeled me and I helped your rent, and you fucking cunt.  dad is getting fucked by Joyce then Andee he is going to be forced out of his house, there plan was so sick. DAd could have been killed, I called the police and FBI telling them about drug traffic and elder abuse, I could use support from family.  
And she didn’t give me respect whatsoever, I was afraid this mind was getting changed by coffee, it was being like on meth drinking just coffee, something strange was working in my mind.  I couldn’t sleep and then I started hearing voices. Strong ones, I opened up the book, Baby Steps, God, Country Family and I began writing the voices the feelings asking questions of who is this and testing them by doing research online on biographies, I will not tell anyone who i am talking ever for it’s all top secret, most people that don’t believe in faith and messages like those that believed Mosses was hallucinating 1300 bce, I kept my God, and Faith and Christ away from ridicule.
Three days before GTA666 occurred the event was like a huge bolder being dropped into my calm and flat mud puddle that’s my life,  I did a small rock on it, I destroyed my home in anger, August 4th, 2014.   I was off the meth I was cleaning my system testing to see the side effects of addiction on my on personal notes, taking blood pressure doing what a nurse would do to me for being in mental hospital taking drugs, identical protocol and I woke up and it was one hour before my Doctors appointment, i was so hoping to show her my research and what i learned that the drugs did to me that were prescribed in error and what I found that Addera a drug for ADHD is my mental illness.  I was showing her that that Aniphycotics where putting me into depression mode and my way out of low self worth and everything to break out of the most hellish mode a person can live, is to make anger, I learned that Seroquel I take it at night, makes me angry in the morning.  My mind fights itself away from depression, and those Antipsychotics where blocking real emotions that the all might god, gave man to have and not animals, the only thing that makes us different in this world from the monkeys, that so called scientists believe we are came from.  I wanted to show her that some music and movies, can cause an emotional response so strong now with not taking my medication that I was being blocked by listening to God, the faith the most important part of life, I would now have tears of joy and those tears healed and made me fell better and well, and I have not felt these feelings since I was just made a father, so strong.  I studied songs pieces of music orchestra seeing my kids play in Denny middle school their consort and feeling the tears of proudness I was not afraid to have them, I never felt like this for years , when my first son was born, the joy of the birth, I was not on drugs at all, I was feeling humane, and the drugs that were prescribed me was like not feeling at all, the things that should make you feel, like being in hell and this is what I was going to tell my doctor all the prescribed drugs that were given to me by her were killing me, my soul and I had all the paper work, and I could not find my belt, my wallet, and my keys to drive my Truck that was being borrowed by this renter who used the shit out of everything I let him use.  I was unable to meet my doctor and I was so excited to finally prove an illness that I took 10 years  and probably more studding then her doctorate to acquire her psychiatrist degree.  I did 10 years of hell and have probably more information that can be used to heal people with mental illnesses then the doctors can guess and fix it with this magic sick poison pill.  It was  to late. I missed the appointment, and i was so mad because it was so important to me more than the Job that Yukiko loved to do under table for extra money, I was studding this summer, not just getting high and fucking off time, i study, everything, and i tested all the renters subjects in this experiment and the Thugs and thief’s and drug addicts and trying to be like Jesus to solve and help, and I couldn’t find the truck keys, I blew up.  I broke the glass door shattered plates, a movie, Indian Jones and the last crusades was thrown so hard it went into the wall, class and holes in the house, I broke my hand I went to the basement and Joey a big muscle guy made in prison body, that thug was scarred to death with this wrath I had, i destroyed the plastic container holding my belonging I kind of cared, but was in the basement in my office I was hoping to be a internet radio station, all these projects I destroyed, the wall, I had two of my Chaos Theory Books, i threw them so hard they went inside the wall, one of those books was stolen like all the other small but important to me from these people I had in this house for experimental Summer to find God and solve my mental illness, it’s was completely out of control, my hands where bleeding and shaking, I wanted to kill my sister for and aunt and uncle who judged me and labeled me with so much defamation and sister who could keep a secret and is the cause or part of it for my Fathers right brain 3 branch one section over the Brocca section of brain, and i wanted to be more involved, she did not even give me the curtness the respect to know that I have studied neurology and new more than anyone in the whole Packard line of the mind.  I was into being a neurologist at 18 years old, a major that I was interested in for future computer to make to be a system for the rest of my life, I have so much knowledge i have acquired for so many years, I just never had the chance to get anything done, because of impatient with the life that was dealt into my world.  I at this time writing I was so in Wrath I recorded myself the voice of someone who i have never heard a person not on this planet, and so many that popped out, I put my cell phone on record to get this emotional response and I study that temporarily insane schizophrenic event as that was the HOLY SPIRIT of the kingdom of God, the faith it was not crazy, it was emotions and i studied these couple of cries while I let the body speak and me relaxed while walking away from the hell I live in, the house that was put on it’s property backwards two previous owners where one in prison for child molesting a 16 year old daughter, and just another crazy.  I have had renters that were fine, and then they leave mad and crazy, and hate me and the house and it might not be the person’s fault this home has a spirit stronger then any home I have ever been in, I was in 2007 casting spells testing vortexes with feeling and clairvoyance all kinds of tolls, Geiger counter where I found the basement has a higher dosage of counter per minute then the rest of the house , and then my room goes from 17 to 33, and one time 115 changes. I am a fucking scientist not getting paid, i did the work that on Wednesday, i was editing this book, I decided to get the drug that was calming me, and balancing me from anger or depression to living well, meth but I wanted my fucking doctor to read what I did as a smart very intelligent human being, not an animal a drug for ADHD because my brain Wernicke’s left side is slow for the damage I got from not going to Canada for help where they would have diagnosed me sooner then Swedish Providence who labeled me a drug addict junky like my pathetically dumb as shit , family, ,they did that rather than get me treatment, and I suffered more loss of my brain, that portion is slower then the rest of my brain ,that  runs faster than most peoples minds because I was born that way, and depression happens I theory is because the speed difference ,and with a bit meth, I can read and so much comprehend and actually was reading the bible, Adderall or whatever drug, i will no longer be a patient in Seattle unless I get better treatment and someone with a smarter brain than mine.  As my doctor will get no love from me, ADHD no antipsychotics.  I found out with no medicine just with my brain on nothing, I get so angry fighting naturally the depression that it caused me to leave the house not finishing important work.
On August 6th, 2014, I was suppose to do my drug, meth to calm my self down but I hate doing this drug, I said fuck it, and then i had voices of the Unholy, the spiritual energy, souls whatever , not just fake shit make believe like the movie John Nash, who knows maybe those were real, and only people with genius style like brains get to see the most amazing and hear the most coolest feeling and emotions ever, God gave that to me, in his DNA  that every four generations it skips and a genius is born, Charles Edward Packard, my Great grandfather was the last one who my Grandfather hated, for he was a righteous and a pioneer in his time, did an adventure moving is family from Main to California to start a crop growing opium to have it made in America vs in China , then the Klondike and then construction company in Seattle, earth quake 1904 messed the family up and sued by Seattle, a vendetta not sure the whole story my dad has all the information in his head, but I might never know, but his Y chromosome is shared with me, and this Packard is no fucking dummy, I took off after arguing with this Uncle not blood related who judged me for being a drug user like the rest of this stupid family I belong, well I was creating an order in heaven putting names for leaders that existed for races and cultures of the world, 9 names, and I was working on this asked by God, I don’t know, I do what I am told, and made choices, and I then put permissions for read write execute like similar to listen talk turn on or move a steering wheel gas pedal etc, that setup for SELF that is the power for my access that I was turning down the Freaky shit that broke my house, and then family is my own family on earth, heaven or hell pick your place, it’s all numbers for me, I kind of know the difference looking and tasting and feeling what planet I am, I I don’t know see on August 6th, if this code book would work so SELF, FAMILY that the DNA of mine, OTHER that would be others DNA like Black, white, Caucasian, Indian, Mexican etc, I am not racist, and Faith for those in permissions I thought really in the bible 666 number of the beast I thought it was read write not execute for SELF, FAMILY,  OTHER but I figured this bible code that God wanted me to figure out how to stop this crazy nonsense could use an upgrade.  I think the Bible in the number see no one can execute the application but you and talked and listen that’s the power for people who shop.  Simple not Satan or devilish work common since.  I don’t care, it made me have the idea to order the holy and unholy spirits energy the things you think I am making up because you were not born like I was with 220Volts with my mother who’s hair stud up on Thanksgiving and lived a life of hell ,and being always aware the details of the things around me, I remember when i was a kid, thinking of leaving  a message to myself and where I put it, I dug up a message and it was there where I thought it was in the house on 37th and June, I was thinking like past present future for my entire life, I bore my family out, I remember talking to my sister when she I think loved me back in the day, all night long explaining in backwords the whole life we lived from birth, chronologically and it was an amazing story I have always been a very smarter then anyone in the class including the instructor of each class I have taken minus Math.  I have never put people down in front of them for being dumb, but I have spent and wasted my life with hanging out with just one friend who is almost as smart as me, Ryan.  I and visions of Ryan and My brain are stolen after we die and replicated and the HUMAN GMOs  the next step off our species when we fuck ourselves and only way to procreate is cloning, this smart fucking Brain was in a theory of a making faster and stronger brain, a super brain, is to have small strokes, like how woman who have babies they at birth pain is a small stroke, healthy for the next birth the pain is less.  But new pathways are generated not new brain cells, and then with stem cell research, and no faith,  I bet this corporation wanting to play god and not believe in God, not believe the emotions are only given to those with DNA coded correctly and marked for only those that are ritchious and only God knows who is who, I know I didn’t do anything terrible in my life but Drugs, are all bad to God and he is not fascist saying some drugs are better than others, any fucking drug that prevents emotions that God gave man not fucking Monkeys, and Fish and Dogs, only man,  Woman have emotions but not as strong and powerful as a man, who has the Y chromosome, and a bigger brain that is Right, woman have a more logical brain on the LEFT, like Robots and computers. Sorry it’s the fucking facts women, have less ability to come up with the things that a man can do , we are different, but My brain for 10 years has been in hell for doctors that have no fucking clue to how a brain, a mind, a genius ,the emotional response of a tear is not a bad thing but a good thing it gets us close to god to mature to learn, to go beyond the science and fiction.  I now know why I lived the way I did, I married the wrong mate.  God didn’t want me to fall in love with a robot, that can’t share emotions, in fact Yukiko’s mom told her to be strong, so she showed no love no empathy, compassion the things she laughed at me when I had tears for emotions that our DNA makeup of being an Asian or women can’t feel because only people who feel are have tears that are real, like Sara, when I told her when I saw her the first time after 2 months away in Nagasaki, the sorrow the torture my wife did to me for hiding my babies away from me, the creation my x chromosome has emotions because she cried while i was trying to tell her the truth and not to to listen to KIRO 7 news and any other person, I was doing an experiment trying to get rid of drug usage and be Drug free of all drugs, and I sorry SAra, and cried, Liam was in the playing a game, no care no passion ,not love, nothing like Yukiko blank.  But my daughter who has more emotions than an Asian I think decent, the culture of Japan it’s not to show emotions to suppress them that’s why they got nuked, and why there Robots will never beat any thing that I build in war, I will make a something in time robot that cries, tears of joy and justice and empathy loss sorrow so many more emotions that I have not felt for so many years and if you block an emotion by drugs that change mood reclassify all drugs, DRUGM for any drug that changes mood, and drugs that turn off emotions, like I found out that meth will if overdosing it, by stimulating doing to much, will block emotions and GOd don’t like that, but not enough stimulation in my brain, it goes to depression, and hell is where people kill them selves not in manic most deaths for those who suffer depression bipolar disease and any thing that makes you not want to wake up and get out of your bed, that is double hell for a doctor who would prescribe an antipsychotic for a person that is a genius and is blocked for 10 fucking years is real brain function, because the doctors didn’t study how this patient lived from his day one, I was tazzered I was starved, I went to school hungry, I would be days up being starving a worried, from this mother I had that I didn’t trust, a thoughts so deep , that i should have been taken out of school and sent to a special place for my Iq was off the chart  no anymore I have so much brain damage from my stroke, and the drugs that changed my brain chemistry that should never been given, the strokes of small one from the massive times I did crack and meth, or just the pure hate of my own self , theory of my stroke is that a person who has guilt, shame, low self esteem, stress, and then give it a some paranoia and speed the blood pressure high speed on coffee, small strokes bound to happen , damage, and then the tiny bit if cocaine that my brother had more, I had all of those feelings, and this family of mine labeled me a drug junky user, not worth of love , not treated me at all like a family member but worse a stranger, and this family I have will not share a time after life of whatever in heaven, as God said I have to go, I wanted to go to hell, and fix it.  But he said no, but Sara, if she is plays good she goes with me, Liam and the wife, who only time I saw her have an emotions was when I learned that some fucking shit head family member invited Ryan Strassburg, and Yukiko to see and talk about me in West Port, Ryan told me he kissed my wife and before this  shit he said he has feeling for Yukiko, I heard that his mother Donna Strassburg and Elki thought that Ryan would be a good match, the cunt that broke my math co processor.  I have a special place in hell for her, but this network of people communing behind my back, I felt that all in jail and knew who did what the feelings I had were strong, I remember her kissing, Ryan and that Drive I felt it, I watched in that solitary confinement so much that I thought it was fake, but I saw the shit fucks that I let in my house start stealing things, I have there souls now to play with like Satan but I am worse than him when it comes to my things.  I Saw Robin Williams, chocking I was chocking ,he asks if  I am in hell and I said no your on earth, I’m Charles Packard, I think you are purgatory with me I must be the devil or something I thought for my crimes.  But I felt this all I was wearing my towel covering  my eyes, seeing if I can tell where the sun is because I believe  I am seeing neutrinos and other particles in my center of my brain, I talked to Melvin Love, who told me that this might be ok you didn’t do it was souls against you who allowed access to.  And see I left the god damn house after talking to my dad for bitching me out for not returning this cane to St Mount Vincent’s who took me off the next of kin list for my father for is outpatient treatment  and they just got the assumption that I was not worth to take care of my dad, someone called the hospital and told them I am a meth addict  and to not call him for he is not worth to be human that is what Mount ST Vincent a nursing place that my dad was treated and me who visited daily and brought computers to show off picture the 108 GIGS I uploaded to facebook while I wanted to die for being so alone and when God And Christ two voices talked to me and later that next day, I learn Toby blew himself a way for he has probably more love to is beast, the woman than I did  and he used a gun that was locked , and did it front of his family on Christmas, and I talked to Toby but I can’t save the suicides, God and Christ are doing that with me being the vessel for them and I built heaven the start of if, and then earth and then hell, Doctors, Gamers, and Marines. And I did this all in my fucking mind with using knowledge and emotions and feeling it all and I never really lied or cheated or stole, god don’t give a shit about the drug use or charity or really anything like the Church I turned into like master basting because I had a theory that all men should masturbate every 72 hours or 3 days, for the sperm dies and can cause cancer in the testes if not use, and so on and so forth, and my theories are now Gods and Christ, not this planet whatever one I go to.  they are my friends and among.  I want to now read books slow and pick up the details and enjoy things, I want a job for who I now am for this rest of my life that will never be the same, I can sit here and write the most amazing story, but I can’t lie and make up shit so I hope this story is good, for I think a movie portions of my life diverse a movie a something.  I’m beyond reason, doubt, science, fiction, reality, beyond this universe and the one after that one and we can’t go anywhere in space until this order is finished and the war in the real heaven is over.  Then maybe a warp engine will be developed that can go to a planet far away light years away, and come back and still see the people that you loved, rather then people that never met you who is a different planet with different events that happened foreign to you it’s the nightmare that god found and looked at the smartest person on earth to get an answer.  So, Have fun .. I wrote my book  hope You like it then end.  Charlie Packard.
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