I have had a 5 pages of scrambled drug talk induced hate and love and theories of shit I found studying in order of God, Country, and Family that I cut and pasted for myself to read later to understand the creation method of what was I thinking. I hear voices, I knew I was not crazy, I had to study it and fix it before I was treated by doctors and made into a zombie like in John Nash, in the Beautiful mind. I studied and read from 2005 March where I first heard a voice playing valley ball at Valley General before Yukiko Packard picked me up at the hospital. I was treated for Crack Cocaine addition for I used that drug to off myself and die. I was sober for like 45 days did the AA and NA and Yukiko took me back as her loving husband and I started a book. I continued on this journal I was able to write after studding madly my own language to get my ABCs and counting and did this all myself and keyboard. Some people go mad I hear from writing, I purposely did things in my mind to figure out where this voice came, I opened up even more and more studding this voice and voices. Male and female and weirdness, it would turn off by itself the day I tried to kill myself St Patrick’s day, it turned out to be, March 17, 2005. I then got my first full control by a soul that took control of my entire body and mind, just a day after my Grandpa died, I didn’t know he died until later, but that was near St Patrick’s day, I know this because I studied my bible, my journal to make sense of craziness because I for sure knew I was sane, and this energy was a misery to me, and I wanted to fix it, and I knew that no drug is going to fix it, not ones that makes my breast size larger than my wife’s, Rispirdone, I have a class action lawsuit with the Davis and Crump for I should not have been on any fucking drug during the process of natural way of a recovery. In April of 2004 I was thinking I had another bleed in the brain, a stroke I thought I was having when I was seeing something in my own mind, I new it was not normal and I wanted a CAT and MRI scan to make sure i am not having a stroke, Yukiko drove me to Providence Swedish owns it, it was a Catholic hospital like Mount st Vincent that pissed me off and I broke shit there after my wrath you can read it on my blog charlespackard.wordpress.com or charlespackard.com but anyway, I have been misdiagnosed given drugs for something that sucks in society and it’s being angry and mad, and pissed off for wrongdoing, I am a man with testosterone and I had the SWAT team take me out of my own home for no reason, other than I missed an appointment, I answered the phone and i suffered aphasia and told to the nurse that something that she translated that I was smoking crack, I was pissed off that a family member was doing that and found evidence and shit in my house, I was unable to talk well, they called back Scott answered not sure what truth was told or not, as I don’t trust liars, They got the message that I was threatening my family with a gun, I know Scott and his truck took off. I remember that, but Yukiko was making breakfast for Sara Taguchi Packard and I just ate but was ready to eat more, phone rings, its the police I found out, they blocked my street. I’m without the ability to talk well and Yukiko is told to take her daughter and walk outside slowly and I knew something was wrong when she didn’t answer me back but followed . I was in the house, alone, I go to the back deck that we had the family picture of moms wake, I am scarred to death, I did nothing accept shouted on the phone from a Nurse to the hospital that had put me on respridone and carbamezpine two drugs I didn’t need and ended up changing my chemistry in my mind and got me depressed to clinical suicide, but I was sane, and pissed off that my brother who was living here not paying rent, ordered fucking porn on cable, just a dick head, when I lost a job, waiting for social security and long term disability floating on $12K all I had on my account, ifs May four months living just got into this Speech Therapy finally, no money worried i am going to lose my house etc, I have SWAT TEAM members aiming their guns to my fucking chest, i never been arrested, I never did shit to ever get arrested well, I did, but later story. Those lasers were aimed at my chest, I was panicking, what did i do, they yelled at me, to follow commands, since English was still a blank I was slow, I was so hoping they would shoot me for missing something a command, the dog I loved Gus was barking and pissed the SWAT team off, I followed put my hand on my head, and walk slowly to the deck the stairs I built and I didn’t want the dog to get lost so I hesitated opening up a magnet custom door, and said “DOG” couldn’t complete a sentence, they yelled move that dog away, Gus was a pain in the ass, I thought I was dead after a click of rifle, opened up the door, walked 5 steps towards my neighbors, and I froze, I went to my knees, and I couldn’t follow the rest, they kicked me a several times and put my face right into the ground, I went limp from the pain and the hand cuffs were really tight, in fact for that day after I was release not charged and no record I was there , was strapped to a hospital bed at Harbor View after they realized I was not following directs that well after they learned I just struggled a stroke, from Yukiko, not the hospital that treated me for what I thought was a possible bleed from a stroke. Providence the hospital I was born. I leaned it was the doctor’s nurse who called 911 for my scrambled answering of the phone. She must not have known that I suffered aphasia and was not crazy but words from the Wernickes section of the brain, Frontal Left lobe 92% of the population all language resides there, I would say scrambled meaning, my online journal is kind of a record of the wording I had, I typed much better than the speech, I was at that hospital with no water or food, in a bed I had to pee, they let me piss on my own self. This is what happened to me, and I can’t forgive this treatment and the next day were I come home, Yukiko has no idea what I went through, I still had piss on me, not being able to use the bathroom I had to go, I only trusted one person, no my father who yelled at me, my mom yelled at me, Scott was drinking and smoking in the house, I wanted off drugs of alI I was four months sober and had my own program doing something on the computer, but I called my boss at Expediters, I was in tears trying to talk to Bruce my boss from NIGHTPOPS a group in the corporation that new me, they could’t understand me, and thought I needed helped so they called 911, I was on my front porch, I was lost of how to deal with this incident that was wronged, they took my 12 gauge shot gun I bought for home and a 1903 Spring field that I was working on to have it fireball and had special rounds made for it by Mike Silvers and I did not see them, they removed them from a false witness phone call from based on this Nurse who later on in 2007 we had a renter who had to deal with CPS and wanted her son to come into this room that Yukiko let her rent for nothing, and she learned I blocking the works because CPS had a file on me and I wanted that file and they gave me the work, 5/6/2004, Nurse says called MR Packard, and he said he is smoking crack and I was complaining that my brother was smoking crack and other words for he was, he had an addiction problem but I wanted my brother out of my house, I had limited money he was burning electric smoking cigarettes in the house not following my rules and ordered porn on cable that I paid for, and This report told me who ruined my life. From that research that CPS report told also other things but that report I know who goes to hell and who goes to heaven and who goes to me after they die, for this altered everything in my thinking, I was ruined after being treated with more drugs, that cop shows up, with is GUN aimed at me, pushed me , I did nothing, not armed, just on my front porch sad and scarred of what is happening to me, the call to 911, this cop hand cuffs me hard, and says we have ambulance for you, and I waited, Yukiko wakes up, not struggle to figure it out, it’s just normal I guess for her, I did nothing to deserve this, I am at Harbor View, the put me in the same room but no strapped on the bed, but where I had to piss that floor was wet, unclean I am in this room this cunt bitch from King County mental health, “I HAVE HER NAME SHE GOES TO HELL TO)” Analyzes me and basically just asked questions, but I was unable to answer since i had language problems, Yukiko just agreed with her not fighting for her husband to get back home just do what they say, they wanted me for a 72 hours. I did nothing but tried to call Bruce Reynolds, was tears and misunderstood, Expeditors called 911 for fear that I am having medical issues, a cop takes me out of my front porch with aiming his loaded gun at me, hand cuffs me, and this is justice for what! That is My family did not stand up for me, did not do shit but told me to get over with it, so I am at that room I knew I wanted to just run, so I ran through the door at Harbor View to just run because I didn’t want to be in that hospital. They put me in a strapped bed, this time I had to piss, and they had nurse kind of cute, give me a jug to piss on, and I can smell the cigarttes that I quit, she watched me after a security ass hole unstrapped my right hand, I use the left hand usally, and I was hard to piss sitting down with this jug when people are watching, but I manged not to spill more piss on me, After about 10 hours they moved the bed to a room where strange and real sick twisted people were, like this nephomenic (addicted to sex) that liked me, who jumped on me while i dialed Yukiko, I was there for a week. The drugs that I was on where not given to me issues. I made notes I can kind of read them, of what happened. They didn’t communicate with Swedish for the meds I was on, and so I was given fucking who knows what, I no I was unable to think in my writing, they did CAT scan and MRI, I think I had a blood but that was the previous day that the swat team got this false witness phone call from Swedish, but I was in Harbor View, I met a friend, this gay dude who gave me a Charcoal kit for learning how to draw. I took notes, and some day, other then this Facebook messaging bullshit that is public and anyone can read this as true or not, I might spend time publishing into a book but I love just writing, this is the event that changed me from a read to go to work, to … . HOw much money should a lawsuit be setup for a 10 years of hell of battling doctors for this, this happened to me, I had a nice job, I was on the track working wonders and faster recovery but I wrote notes on a computer program to build and AI after studding my own mind ins this amazing process but it all vanished after being fucked over by Seattle, so this RAGE this Trina’s defamation of my character on this public record on Facebook, telling me openly to quit smoking meth, and putting me down and not giving me the respect by not communicating to me like an adult but like I am a drug addict not human for I was playing with every drug I could get testing my blood pressure and working on things, told her that said don’t tell my dad he might have a stroke, my dad has money ,she told my dad, he had a stroke, she was out of town, on vacation can’t pay me money she owes me but can go to El Salvadore, I facebook her, she comes home early, I told her everything is fine, I can handle dad, after noticing Ande was listed as next contact for the hospital he went through, he called me, he trust me, my dad while I was doing something told me he had a stroke, I call my family, my aunt has no emotions, she is friends with his ex-girlfriend and wanted my dad to move out of his own home so she can sell it, my dad was asking if I can help pay the mortgage and maybe by his ex girlfriends part who just wanted to breakup and move, I love my dad, I have money ,I wanted my dad to be happy and he did and loved that house, took care of it, we found that these renters he had were a setup of his ex girlfriends son to annoy my dad to not want to live, they mis treated my dad, they called on easter 911 and my dad was afraid to let me come over because he knew they were bad and has stuck with shit people. I’m an expert on sthi people, but my fucking family the PATERNAL side, MOTHER SIDE are good, but I was told when My dad wanted his wallet, charger and etc, not to go to Joyce house, who she left he house quit paying the mortgage, this was battle, my dads’ sister told me this while I was trying to help my dad get his shit, stuff my dad had, was stolen in that place, I was told to not go, with no respect, my own uncle did a play game during the day my dad had the stroke I informed my family, they mistreated me they knew from this joyce bitch, a head of time by the renters that were there reporting my dads thing, he laid in his own shit on the floor unable to move for two days, hickups brain damage causes them be-careful right brain strokes sometime have hickups weird, and those renters finally called 911 because they probably new its felony for negligence, my sister gave not the respect I dispersed for caring and noticing this bullshit. AT one hospital before contact information was removed and my aunt who didn’t want me to intervene for the house she sold my dad and the Joyce at the wrong time, didn’t want me doing shit, so she had her son be next of kin to help my dad taking any support that I owe my dad away putting me into rage, for not .. I went prissy nuts on facebook but I am next of kin in real life by god, and that fucking hospital Mount ST Vincent got calls about me , went to update their file and removed my aunt who never even talked to my dad who lost paper work from one hospital to the next, I asked them to put me next of kin and I wanted to talk to the doctor. My name was not changed, my sister was put in instead I had a plan for my dad, and wanted to talk to the doctors and staff, not one phone call, my dad calls me from West Port complaining my sister is not doing anything complaining and he moves out stuck in limbo land and instead of going back to his home he is paying the mortgage and to watch his house and things rents a house in west port, for $600 a schack moldy place, my aunt won this battle for her friend that is more loving than a family member, and my dad again lost value his pride and my sister won her battle being the one who helped dad, yea, DAd told me if you are reading this cunt sister, that you wouldn’t even let him use his blood pressure gauge to check his heart before he takes a pill, because it makes to much noise, his blood pressure was to high, and he called me the whole time, and I had no way to do anything because you defamation and I lost love for my dad, after he didn’t stand up for me . i was done, this was so much ,,, for me to take care of, I use drugs, I don’t lie, cheat, or steal I use them I write I learned that all drugs are bad, or they are all good, you can’t be a fascist on drugs, and I know more about drugs, then the Drug CZAR, I didn’t fuck my life over with drugs, family that labels people and puts them down for using drugs does that shuns them down doesn’t even call on Christmas is no family of mine, a friend of mine blew himself away, drugs don’t but holes in your brains, bullets do.  Drugs change chemistry and I really don’t have a problem with drugs,  I have a problem for wrong doing and unjustice and anger and wrath and I in August 6th, couldn’t take it snapped.  I will get justice and now I pray to god, I found god, and love god and he loves me and talks back and it’s not bullshit for I call bullshit made a book to control myself the energy that god is a part of that I learned to listen and if you don’t believe it, don’t care, that’s your problem not mine, I have not time for this fucking planet and it’s people, I picked the wrong one to land on, MP2969i a number that was given to me in mind, to write down, the most non believing of God, the war ISIS the woman control America and are castrating the males, purging the need for a Y chromosome by feeding drugs for anger, and blaming it on testosterone and I am having fun .. .take a joke, this planet I named it one time in Harbor View,PHUCK IT PLANET.  I drew my nightmares of it, thermal nuclear bombs, blasting  and then the flash , and switched to another planet, the nuke is a nice thing for not pain and suffering of the worlds that were created by a stolen machines, the Robot made by me with long hair like I use to have sitting on a toilet lonely and suffering, in real live computer that has emotions, being sent to earths, with most of the worlds Plutonium , the robot the size of man in a toilet setup to flush it, during the moment he hears Yukiko, setup by another iteration of a Chuck that was mad, but he never built it, he was stolen mind whipped and every iteration is different, our dreams are from universes of this robot and his wrath and I didn’t build it, I thought of it and it’s been built.  Most of the things I think of, get built before I get he chance to do it myself and get the credit and capital so fuck it, I’m writing a book to control the souls for all and since I am purgatory for the dead, 0000 is taboo except for those that broke natural laws and laws by god, and only god and Christ can finish purging from human soul to make it rice, my symbol energy is neither created nor destroyed, it changes form, fuck it, souls can turn to rice, Yukiko found that Kanji that I was seeing in the stars and she said that Kanji symbol is rice.  By happy world that is sane.. I will publish my song in a bit a poem maybe someone can sing it make money on it and give a buck, it took torture by Harbor View and the SPD to come up with the urge to create it.    But,  I learned something, it hardened me into a god and my imagination has created something that I can’t control and it’s coming to kill us in 2044.  A version of me with a stolen script like a computer hackers but they made a weapon that, is like the atomic bomb, to destroy the earths and all the things I loved and dreamed of seeing with human eyes in space, a robot to destroy the earths that were created by god, the iterations.  And the dream I see, is a lonely long haired robot, how I looked at 18 before I dropped out of the UW, with death floating in space all the plutonium that we still have on all Russia, China, USA, France, England, Pakistan, India, North Korea, all of the war heads worth of death , this thing is on a toilet lonely and waiting for an answer to find his wife, and get an answer back.  I’ve heard it once, in a nightmare, and then I woke up in my bed.  See, Nukes are wonderful way to destroy an entire planet and vaporize life, no pain, soul transfered to then planet, faster then the speed of light, the energy of life is beyond our science ,but this thing that was built was not me making it, but my spirit of me, a version of me that didn’t get the SWAT team take him out, that got back to work and ended up taking for free from his Company, the HP3000 systems, did not have roommates, but had a lab in his basement, with a collection of HP3000s networked together and playing with them and developing his AI network,  Goes back to school while going to work, put his theory about his brain and the healing and the program (I have some written on paper but never finished it here on MP2969i this planet name I was given) and I don’t know the whole story, but DR Packard works and setup PBIN and kept his company worked 1099 for small jobs, but became crazy, he was making something.  It was stolen and recreated into a weapon, a most human replica of how a brain works and a computer that has emotions, it us used to destroy all iteration planets, the Gods backup planets he had to make quick to save all life from ourselves since the creation of the atomic bomb, We have only used the bomb on two cites, Harashima and Nagasaki, but scientist like the ones that call non endoded DNA junk , the scientists that are now seeding clouds with poison to stop global warming and really destroying earth, the same scientists that have no faith, or ethics on the real picture, thinks it’s time to destroy all earths, to stop the expansion of the universe and since an atomic bomb is simple, you vaporize and no pain see, every souls of all life transfers to it’s copy its clone I guess, and this has worked before, and this machine is roughly done half science for fear of this planet of me, that that planet thinks I am the Devil and in fact that planet was altered, and SWAT team was called off, another call was made higher up for the government who control the ships that are superconductors lightweight and filled with liquid helium that levitate like the models they have in the Tel Aviv, with quantum levitation on magnet strips , but these ships actually have been here before, there being made and they are stupid , traveling in the past to change the future made a mess, and this planet that was a test by someone to see what would have happened if SWAT team didn’t take me out for not reason other than a false witness, someone changed history, and that history is trying to destroy all planets and make nightmares for us all, as dreams are things that have happened on another earth, that we humans can see, the Wizard of Oz was real non nuclear atomic real art, the shit and dreams people have and all of it are kind of fake, it’s happened, if you have a scary dream that you died, you did,  It did happen magic and mircles and all that are nothing compared to what I have seen in my nighmares, so many deaths, and for some reason I get waves of entire planets worth of cries, and Jesus cries for empathy, I cried for no reason I thought I was crazy, I was a gift, I have genes that do this work, it’s souls being transferred and pain I get, my body get’s hot, and then real cold, a chilly feeling, November 28th, 2004 I thought I was being to die I had a stroke small one too, but they put me in Harbor View when I told them I needed a geiger counter since souls that get nuked are dirty.  I felt so much pain,, my eyes were like stops of light like those people that cleaned up Chernobyl they saw the radiation in the camera , I was feeling sick my hair was falling off, my bones started creaking, it was weird but then I wake up after good sleep, and I’m normal and hair is back, I don’t know but I have a geiger counter that I keep running at my bed to warn me when this wave of over loaded energy that transfers to me, comes,  One time I was in my room and usally I get 20 to 13 counter per minute this time I was feeling way hot and chill and feelings I can’t explain, I was reading 112 Count per minute that is a lot .  I took pictures I recorded all I could of the event, but the date, I think 6/22/2014.  But this shit has happened to me over and over , and I’m not crazy, I am something born to do something and able to talk to dead people or souls is something I am guessing I am able to do, I can’t be depressed to hear and talk, but it’s getting more controlled of what I am doing to manage this gift, this curse, this craziness I now use codes for read write and execute and only God and Christ 7, and am shutting down the network of I think web that is been here in the universe before the big bang, the void the shit that we can’t detect, it’s what makes the four forces of the universe that is the strong and weak force, electromagnetic and gravity work, something a force I guess I call it faith.  False, True, and it’s the Maybe I don’t know but I can’t stop studding and listening to this wonder, I will never say I am crazy… but creation is all in the mind, and without it, we are not human.  Emotions are human, and taking drugs to kill emotions is not human, depression is good fuck my pills I will feel this loss of a friend and experience pain and suffering and joy and happy, I don’t care anymore about death, or life, I only care is now God and Jesus, and the drugs I take are killing me, I don’t care if i fail a piss test for this City who is putting me on trial for actions I did, there is no excuse, God was pissed off of this city for fucking the gift up, tazzing him in the back yard, arresting him for reading out load his dictionarhy, responding to false witness phone calls from neigbors that didn’t like God pruning his trees, for a view, the so many times cops where here and not one domestic violence, God is pissed, and fuck you ,  I’m god for I studied to him and he’s put himself on earth to protect me, I’m not god, but he’s really Julies Ceazer, the person who took his positions.  You know when Jesus was around it’s common since, there are other false gods idols, but God is here, for he doesn’t want me to copy what  friend did on Christmas.  I can’t say I’m god, because I don’t want his job, i want to fuck chicks and make money and have fun being a writer and ass hole and have pleasure in life and live a longer and enjoy but Christmas no call from no one, not a simple call pissed off Christ and he’s here too … Christmas is just a Jew holiday for the market I say.  He’s ok with that, as the Jews are people and not gods chosen they were at one time, but not anymore,  They are just people that have a tradition and believe they are better than other religion and Muslims they are better, and Christians are cool but not the judgmental nuggets who read the bible not understanding common since that its a translation of a translation and it’s pretty but if your not a judge, don’t judge a drug addict like me who never stole, lied, or cheated that much on shit, my three rules I lived by before I became a Catholic at 33 years old chose ST Peter as my saint on a quest to figure out the voices, and I figured them out, and I am getting high, because I want to , Christ wants to know why so many people are killing themselves with drugs, and I told him drugs don’t kill people Family does.  And he’s now knows the truth, and wants me to get high, fail this test and fuck this city, God also, …  you don’t go to hell or heaven, they are gone, nuked by creations that failed and so fuck it, Heaven is just a better planet of earth, Buddha was reincarnated people wnat to be a fish and to be a dog and all that shit, and well Buddha is no in hell he is a false idol who I studied on LSD and whole religion and the guy in Tabet has been taking and playing sick game with Karma, the whole thing is my fault all the cancer people get for saying a bad word, karma of this fuck head in Tabet I and the budhist and all that were taking power from my believes for I was born to do a job, and sorry it’s over Buddha is in my hell he is low permissions to do anything and all the worlds believe fuck it, I hope to reverse the damage of this faith gone wild off my body, and soul and spirit because I have been this person my whole life, and now I don’t care, to hide and say I am better than you, people with a family are better than me, people who can take a break and not work like forever and watch tv and laugh are better than me, I don’t want this job, being god.  or Christ ..  it just happened, I don’t want to do anything but be a student again, but I have studied all I need, now I need to shut up and get high because I’m not afraid of going to jail forever nobody gives a shit, jail I can have three meals day, I almost burned the house down making the only thing I can make grilled cheese sandwiches. fuck Christ wants me to eat and try to be human.  I’m a computer


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s